There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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