i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
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What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
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I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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