Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
