your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
we should paint friendship bongs
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