Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
