she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
