HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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