You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This baby is an asshole
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
