Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
