i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
