I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
