This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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