took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
