You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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