I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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