Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
