All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
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I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
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Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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