bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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