I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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