the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
