yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
