Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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