Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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