i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
