My room smells like vodka and shame
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
