help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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