i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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