i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I enjoy the company of your penis
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
