Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
