Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
