so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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