well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
