Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
