Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
