You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
