I'm going to jail i love you
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
