butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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