I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
