I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
