dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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