Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
