Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
