So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
