how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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