I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
