ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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