haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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