If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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