am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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