NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize