Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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