its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
