we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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