they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
