I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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