just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
