If that was your dad, he is hot
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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