Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
